Gently, praise the life you're grieving,
gently let it fly,
memories stay with memories leaving,
witness to your gentle cry.

Gentle, was this man in living,
gentle will his spirit stay,
loving and forever giving
were his gifts to us each day.

So gently, feel his love within you
as it was and will ever be,
share it, make it strong amongst you,
cherished for all eternity.

No, it really doesn't matter
if you know or if you don't.
It doesn't help to speculate
on those who will or won't
decide upon a future for
an earth about to shatter.
You can wring your hands in dark despair,
it really doesn't matter.

You can protest 'till your banner
fades and frays around the edges,
you can hold your placard high enough
for folk up on the ledges,
you can be a martyr to the cause '
till your blood begins to spatter,
or play a game of politics
'till it really doesn't matter!

You've heard that it's unhealthy
for a human being to worry,
that happy thoughts are all we need
to get to in a hurry.
Don't care too much if now you're thin
and then a little fatter,
just cancel all those fashion mags,
it doesn't really matter!

And just to illustrate my point
I'll tell this little fable,
about the limmo keys I lost
while at a restaurant table.
I searched with frantic energy
in sauce, in cream, in batter.
I found the keys, but the car was nicked*
so it didn't really matter.

So in the biggest picture
that the world will ever see,
are tiny, little pinhead dots
call them and you and me.
A nuclear blast or two or more
and all the dots would scatter
to the winds of nowhere special,
where it really doesn't matter.

(* = stolen)
 

soon
the dusty air
would have its way
evaporating
and making changes
while it could

A woman sported legs in curves
no gentleman would want to kiss.
Adonis came in many shades,
but didn’t stay for severed bones.
Complications took their toll.
Snare drum certain stadiums
of cherish would remain without,
she flat ignored the sleek, sleek wax
that follows worms and kept
the monarch from its form.
She earned her worth by scaling cliffs
and hopping clear to Hell and back.

Passion takes surprising shapes:
contoured Casablanca fog.
When he rolled in, her pain turned back,
an affidavit for the loss
to stop infernal sentences.
Letters from a lap-top swing.
They steeped in writing every day.
Hubris was a covered button;
here it could admit its flaws
and spit its heart on anger’s floor.

No one truly fathomed them:
how he looked beyond her flesh.
Chromosomes of suffer’s acorns
planted roots in nests of time
as slippers loving learn to dance.
The sensual of paper tongues--
that wrote a waltz from nothingness.
A trellis climbing up a rose
and not the other way around.
They threw out all the common rules--
just road-maps for a ship at sea.

A wedding ring was parsley
on contentment’s plate.
The fairy tale nonsensical
became the break that stirred the clouds.
Their votive was forever’s raven
born of coal and circumstance.
Risk became a parachute
that whispered with its candlelight.
The Dante curls of love before
in pale palettes of regret:
umbrella skins with bullet holes,
the wrong would underline the right.

Hope was snapped asparagus.
Never stayed in season long.
I bit back--exploding pens.
The misery of rust
and retrospect in frosting
caked by coughing winds.
Your little girls were
capillaries of the light--
but when they left,
we rode dead waves.
In flat cold practicality,
our wedding rings
made garbage ties.
Mud in snow of
once white trails.
I do not grieve our galaxy.
A ransom note for rising suns,
love’s tuition climbed too high.

Dr. Frostbite peeked at X-rays--
moving on--pronounced her fine.
The dance with fear.
Knocked-out front teeth pregnant pain.
He read himself her history
in speakers of a microphone.
Never looked her in the eye.
His handiwork was still intact:
“nothing broken, nothing lost.”
The rumble strip of human here
that might have somehow intervened.
Emotion’s penis seemed so flat;
she wondered if, in crisis time,
he ever felt the swelling dark.
The flaccid, placid chill of business
turned a mission to a wallet.
Schedules and Dictaphones
remained in place
like safety lights
that harbor grass of Central Park
where muggers carry loaded guns
and human hearts are suns eclipsed.

I thought
you said you loved me, dear
so why am I to shed this tear
when all is done and I am gone
you're the one I will have missed for so long

We had something special
not a "relationship" as the term implies
but a friendship with no loose ties
perhaps
9 years of friendship was time to end
or maybe I had someone else to contend
but I'll
continue to miss you until you realize it so
and I think you should know
that I
don't know you anymore
the grim face who closed the door

I thought
you said you loved me, dear
so why am I to shed this tear
when all is done and I am gone
you'll be the one I have missed for so long

Together
We were open books
the recievers of confused looks
I don't know
what happened to the time we spent
the anger we did vent
you helped
and I think I helped you too
why are you like this when the years we have are so few

I thought
you said you loved me, dear
so why am I to shed this tear
when all is done and I am gone
you'll be the one I have missed for so long

I wanted to tell you
that you hurt me more than anything
I have ever endured
more than anyone else had conjured
I thought
you'd be the last one to do it
you took our friendship and threw it
I don't know
when the thought will dawn
that the friendship we had is gone.
go on and fly
this is my Goodbye.

Your eyes penetrate into the
Depths of my
Soul
Grey orbs level me
I           become             lost
     in                   them
I could gaze forever
It would not be enough.
Hunger replaces their color when
I miss you
Hunger to see them, to
Feel YOU.

 Warmth envelops my senses
When you gather me
Into your arms.
My heart bursts inside
Was there such happiness
        Before You?              Impossible.

I miss you more and more.
Your arms,
The way it feels to be wrapped
In You.
Safe.
Love.

I catch a whisper in my throat,
Something to tickle in your ear......
       But   you're not there.

Part II

Twelve hours may as well be twelve thousand,
TWELVE HOURS!
When I cannot talk to you
Or look in your eyes.
My heart aches and longs
FIfty Million Times MORE
      Than it did
 before you came to me.

How bitter it feels to have had you
And had to part with you once
More.
How it Burns inside
     My Soul
to have to suffer our
separation.

And yet the joy that springs to mind
In Anticipation
That most-awaited Return.
The Imaginings are better than Techicolor.
Visions........
Of Arms flying, Tears flowing,
Holding on so tight we both
EXPLODE!     into a trillion pieces.

Even the innate longing to behold your skin CANNOT lessen the happiness I pray for.

Return to me........

Seeing people who get their joy
And all hyped up and in a craze
Because they can hurt others
I rage

Against the hatred of small minds
Who seem to think through a haze
Hating only religion or color or race
I rage

For all those who are abused
By a system which is meant to gauge
How best to fulfill their dreams
I rage

When I see the importance of money
To those whose would sit around and laze
While people die by the millions
I rage

Because of all the apathy I see
In those who refuse to gaze
Upon all the injustice surrounding us
I rage

If only the children could rule the world,
If only the government would hear the youth,
If only the country would stand by their leaders,
then perhaps more people would be readers.

If only the children of today
would not be brainwashed into thinking about what others say,
If only they could stay innocent for all of their life,
then perhaps the world would not have more strife.

Listen to the children and don't tell them "no",
then perhaps they will make our country as it should go.

You could make me see.
With a glance, a gleam, or a glimpse,
You could make me see.

You could make me be.
With your flame, your flaws, your flesh,
You could make me be.

Chorus:

You could inspire me if you so chose.
You could make me be like no one else does.
You could make me see...
Like I see you every time my eyes are closed.
Would you?

You could make me free.
Lend but a part of your spirit
And help me be free.

You could make me flee.
If I do not open the door,
Then I will surely turn and flee.

You could inspire me.
With a wave, or a word, or a whisper,
You could inspire me.
Would you?

I remember wandering over this world on my own,
I remember wandering here knowing I was alone.
I remember that sadness filled my heart,
I remember feeling that gladness would never start.
But then you entered my life, my special friend.
It seemed immediately I saw the darkness end.
For we soon started a partnered scheme,
And together we began to build our dream.

Two hearts that called out as one,
Two lives to meld - it has begun.
Two people that need to share each other's gleam,
This is why we must build the dream.

I am not perfect, I find that I fall and fail...
But having you here, love, allows me to prevail.
And I will stand beside you through all of our years,
Even if all I do is catch your falling tears.
But between us I sense a rock on which we stand.
A place from which we can work as one - hand in hand.
For us the world is not cold, as it once did seem -
For us the world is now a place to build our dream.

Two hearts that sing out as one,
One life to build - we have begun.
The two of us that have become more than a team,
And we will live our lives living our dream.

To have held and hoped has it's inherent beauty;
I know, I've bought that light.
I've paid in pain and pride.
I've paid in lust and laughter.
I've paid in insult and innuendo, curses, cries, sex, sweat, sorrow...
What of it?
My complaints profit nothing.

The price?
Wisdom?
I'll do it again.
Avoidance breeds a dusty spirit.
I'll not die inside my own body.
I'll not keep my tears 'til they dry my soul.

The price?
Myself.
I am my own coin.
I'll pay me.
 

Innumerable considerations
Scattered around
As stars in the sky
None with enough light
Of its own
But adaptable
In their interconnection
To show me the way.

The harmony of the universe
Confined for a moment
in the boundaries of my head
explodes in its beauty.

The thirst for knowledge
Has kneeled
At my need of sensations.

Bittersweet memories
Erase all the powerful thoughts
Leaving a proven soul
Sighing in an exhausted body.

The dread of the night
Has subsided
And a sudden warmth
Has overtaken me.
While the first sunbeam
Sneaks through the window
I remember how to sleep.

I know your face:
Your faun horns, framed in waves,
Stormy sea eyes, curving lips that trace
Kisses but whisper lies.

I know your loping walk:
Muscles easy, hands dangling, shoulders loose.
The slow-striding, powerful legs that talk
Of weary miles trudged underground.

I know your hands:
Strong, shapely hands that make and break,
Stroking, tender fingers or fists that burn brands
Of pain deep within me.

I know your shame:
The hurt, the misery, the murder
Of the man within when fear overcame
And became your bedfellow.

I know when you leave:
Your dismissing body shows only your back.
No caring or sharing;  I grieve,
You deceive in the positions of silence.

I know you:
I wanted to write simply of love,
But dark echoes embrace light.  I do
Love, but unblinkered, your vows broken.

I do not know your mind:
Tell me when the shadows suffocate the light
Within you.  I will help you find
A small warmth within me.

Although I can't help but become lost,
in the wonder within  your eyes.
Even if it is merely a dream,
and I soon shall awake.
Perhaps one day my eyes shall open,
and find you.
Until that day comes, if at all it does,
I shall  Dream.

   It begins simply enough,
with the sun slowly.. slyly stealing nights kiss
away from the savaged land below...

And as all things come to pass
The Phoenix rises from the ashes
and so also..  is the soul renewed..
Fired by anger... fueled by strength
Burned by hurt, and quenched in
Truth A new day is forged...
   and like the Phoenix..
       so happens love
never dying
  always changing
     and with it
         The soul is renewed

Come fly with me
to lands beyond the dreamy mists of time
For not all fire is bad
all that you have gone thru
all that you will go thru
there is a reason...
the strong will be tempered by tragedy,
and once again.. the soul will fly
majesticly
   wonderously
        commanding the sky Fire of Passion
     Air of Misty dreams
         Water of Cleansing Rain
               Earth of where all shall Return

And what say you?
 
      Shall we fly?

 Have you ever.. felt the waters cool kiss upon
     thy lips, surrounding you with present calm, and a
 depth yet unfathomed?

 Have you ever felt the fire in your soul, reaching
     beyond the mortal yen, stretching to depth
 beyond the reach of what is.. to what can and
     will be?

 Have you ever? felt the earth calling you like a
      long lost lover? Reaching towards you sloowly . .
 trying to hold on to what was, and what could
      have been?

 Have you ever been touched by another,
      an embrace that left your skin tingling
 charged with intensity unknown

 Have you ever been kissed --
      in such a way that there is no other kiss,
 no other person that can replace the one you hold dear

 Have you ever wondered
      if that person exists?
 Or do you know simply --
      they do.

 Well, Have you?

It unravels itself to me first upon a chilly plain
 where all is bright and white
the beginning of all things, and an end
 but not THE end, of which that was most important

Slowly it transmorgifies itself from a lifeless picture
 adding in small amounts of life
like a great cook dashing a dish with spice
 each adding its own flavor to what will BE

My vision then is encompassed by the shining sunlight
 and behold, verdant life abounds
There exists that within that beats upon my chest
 willing it to join the life surrounding it

Here there is a passing of time.. of many days of light
 embracing me like a long lost love
It is here my days are enriched by the bonding of another
 days of ever found joy.. each day a new spark of brightness

Ah.. the golden age.. where there are those to further carry on
 even when I have become nothing but a fading memory
I see small smiling faces.. mayhaps a fancy of mine
 but there is a part of me.. that calls and says

YES they are thine.. be careful of them, they are more precious
 than any treasure, more alive than any mere object
They will bring you much sorrow, much pain, and yea, joy
 And as age becomes thine enemy, they will keep you young

Now I see again that blazing white field..
 that circle again coming to an end
or is it merely another beginning..
 a journey to revel in and unfold . . .

  The End ?

        But this is not a box
        This is the world.

        The world is still a big place
        Inspite of jet engines and cyberspace.
 
        So why do you  confine your mind
        To square thinking.

        In a circle
        There are 360 degrees
        That surround you.

        But this is not a circle
        This is life.

        In the journey of life
        You never pass the same place, twice.

        So why do you describe your life
        As going around in circles.
        Stop!

        Enjoy your life.

Although the reality of struggle is long gone,
In the middle of the darkest night
I am bathed in cold sweat
As nightmares come back to haunt me.

I assure you, the night has gone
Its a new day of bright hopes.
But what will it take
To bring happiness to your face?

If the scars chiseled into my heart
Would melt away in the warmth of the new day.
And if the memories were gone forever
My soul would soar again.

Your knuckles have been whitened
From the clenched fists of bitterness.
Forgetting the past is not easy
But releasing the grip is the first step.
I will walk with you
Up the stony path of healing.
I am convinced without a doubt
Your soul will soar again!
 

        We have many experts
        But our problems multiply.

        What are  priests and pastors doing
        If there are so many broken lives?
 
         If we are "master's of our own destiny"
         Why do we fear the scourge of cancer?
 
        If we hate pain
        Why do we fight?

        History repeats itself
        So why do we not learn?
 
        If information is power
        Why are we fragile?

        How do we make a living
        When stress and fatigue kill us?

        I have questions
        Do you have answers?
 

        I radiate the beauty of the violet.
        I have the strength of the mahogany
        Held steadfast by deeply entrenched roots.
        I am the image of eternity
        - a blessed inheritance.

 
        Why should I be shackled
        By the force of fear
        When death itself "has lost its sting".
        Why should I go around
        With my head hanging in shame,
        When value has been restored on me .

        Should I keep looking behind me
        To the past "that grows strangely dim"
        When what lies ahead of me
        Is strong and bright.

        I wear no cross around my neck
        I have no halo over my head.
        I don't take my sandals off
        To come into His presence.
        One act of love
        Has Lifted me to a higher place.

        I am an inheritor
        Over life in abundance,
        Not because of what I have done
        But  because of who I am
        in His name.
 

The Morinings -- a dance of penance
     For the magic of the night before
And the afternoon was a forever
     warming of anticipation.
And oh how I have loved you in the
     little things of Life.

     Somewhere
The long shadows took us away
     Leading the chase
And as they spread into night
     Left us staring at the other
     side of sundown

Let us turn 'round.

Drive West with me at Sundown
See how the edge of Earth screams
     For the blazing day!
Evenling is noontimes Eulogy.

I have always loved you
     as I love you still.

Boundless, bound we down green valley
Through the honeysuckle air
Dreamt a dream that left us waking
To a Springtime revery ...

     Pan from the forest called such music
     That the air turned honey sweet
     Our sunsparkled kisses
     Left the riverlets that trickled,
     Left them giggling at our feet.
     All the nymphs and woodland satyrs
     Danced to a mystic symphony
     Dancing, prancing magic Mayday,
     Circling 'round us, sight unseen
     Honoring us, who set them free ...

Rainbow primrose,
     Saffron 'lions
Scarlet rose midst violet blues
Sunset lilacs,
     Orage orchid
Nature bloomed in flameglow hues.

When the woodland pipes grew still
Then the whisper of the trees
Soft and cool the shaded forest
Of love's tender memories.

Passions sew the seeds of wisdom,
When the heart is pure and free;
And we parted never knowing
That we'd kissed eternity.

     You are the secret whisper of my soul
     And you are my tear stained fantasies
     Forgotten memories, poetic reveries.
     You are the absence that has made me whole
 

     Your breath now fills the flute of my affection.
     My hearts harp tones sweet harmonies.
     Soft and melancholy, silent, happily
     The source and substance of my life's devotion.

Pleasures of the night are morning's losses,
Morning's romance sweetening our tea,
Sincere gifts too often took for granted,
The dearest treasures of our memories.

Love is but a poem as yet unwritten
A song whose last line is yet unsung,
And when its done and feelings all have settled,
It's meaningless to wonder what went wrong.

CHRIST formally saves souls Sundays
after binged out Saturdays
on coke, jane, beer, butt

JESU CHRISTO is the stench of an indescribable
must have been human by the sweet smell of it

O. JESUS is coming down wafer thin
into paddies off choppers
into crossfire clearings

JEEZISS is
the way
a word
hisses between teeth

CHRIST is the First Person
of  "Jesus-Mary-Joseph, save my  ass!"

C'CHRIST JESUS is an exclamatory
preceding LOOK at the SIZE
of those TITS
or it's
a bad poker hand
with first name first

CHRIST O CHRIST is
whimpered at night
in a bunker lit by incoming
walking across water

JESUS K. RYST is
a gook burning
an offload of new meat

JESUS FUCKIN' CHRIST:
a jammed 16
or, softly, the relief of urine
not blood in your pants

the real Christ is
in the middle of nowhere
a quiet moment

and Christ is
the moment of beauty
amid devastation

he is a sermon,
the comfort of childhood
re-enacted with hand-shaking

the sake for which
something is done
ALMIGHTY

a dead friend

then whoever he was died

let the dead bury the dead huu!ahh!

      Each of us must swim a private race.
We each swim; each against a current fast.
Wading along the stream then in the pond;
soon enough, lengths of pool--then the deep end;
first, side to side innocents dog paddle.

I watched the streamside willow saplings
bend into the waters to view reflection;
heavy in summer's first foliage,
the trees swayed rhythmically with the rippling pond;
autumn naked branches stood unashamed,
hardened against the first cold wintry frost.
Something magic swims through pith into growth
since time began its current pace;
the trees at streamside only seem to stand,
they swim in place,
      and each must swim a private race.

At the poolside the brattish boasts of boys
echoed hollow against porcelain tiles
circling the shallow end where we timid
and so cautiously immersed our weakling
frames of bonestretched skins; then we swam. We swam,
muscles muscling as we stretched out to meet
the other side; we arched our muscles muscling--
thighs slapped, loins slapped against the surface
tension as yet to bruttish for finesse,
the gliding softly quickly silently
into reflecting glance. But all too soon
we challenged with our thrusts against the depth,
our firm wet flesh the surface split--we swam
and learned to fly:  our webbed feet no surface
felt, our eyes no eyes met, our breath
heavy and measured, and sighing content
our dripping torsos rose out of our first
love--the pool, the meet, our first success.

We've made our way from water's edge.
These waters have become our home.
More than ribbons have we won;
we've won tales to tell
while we walk some son along the stream
and, soon, the pond
where for us all time had begun.

As you go away,
I know that I should say,
What I always wanted to,
I'm in love with you!

I always called you mine,
I wanted you to shine,
As brightly as the stars,
I wonder where you are,

And now I start to cry,
I cannot say good bye,
I know I'll see you soon,
Underneath the moon,

As you have seen,
We're together in my dream,
Together.....
Forever.